It’s common to feel a lot of fear when caring for a loved one who is struggling with suicidal thoughts. Having a strong support team is essential for recovery, and it doesn’t have to be overwhelming! Here are four key points to keep in mind as you navigate this journey:

1. Talk about it

It’s a common misconception that asking someone about their suicidal thoughts could make the situation worse. In reality, these thoughts are often strongest when experienced in isolation and tend to lose their power when brought into the open. If someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, they may be afraid of being a burden and hesitant to reach out for help. Asking them questions about their feelings can help lighten their load and free their mind.

2. Listen, don’t fix

If someone tells you they are having suicidal thoughts, it’s important to take them seriously. However, you don’t need to be the one to solve their problems. More than anything, simply being present to listen can be incredibly helpful. Asking questions instead of giving advice or opinions is a crucial part of supporting someone.

Your role is not to change what they are going through but to be with them as they navigate it. 

3. Help them have fun

Suicidal thoughts can be weighty. It’s common for individuals struggling with this burden to feel hopeless or lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. Being a good friend is essential in supporting them through this difficult time. Have fun together! Go to the movies, grab a cup of coffee, listen to music on a scenic drive, share a laugh. Help them remember how enjoyable life can be. While it may be tempting to ask about their suicidal thoughts every time you meet, doing so can make them feel more like a project and less like a person. Try to maintain the same quality of friendship you had before you learned about their suicidal thoughts.

4. Take care of yourself 

Picture a backpack. Inside your backpack, you have rocks that you need to take care of and carry. These rocks represent everyday life responsibilities and tasks. It’s important not to neglect the rocks in your own backpack or take rocks from others' backpacks and add them to yours. Each of us has our own rocks and backpacks that we are responsible for attending to. However, sometimes we encounter boulders—burdens that are too big and heavy for us to carry alone. In these moments, we need others to come alongside us and help carry them. You can’t manage multiple boulders, and you also can’t neglect the rocks in your backpack. Learning how to balance caring for yourself and supporting others is an essential part of being there for those in need.

It can be scary to hold space for a loved one who is experiencing deep depression or suicidal thoughts, but be encouraged that you are part of their healing journey! Remember that it is an honor to be let into the sacred spaces of another's pain. When caring for someone struggling with suicidal ideation, it is important that you are only a part of the process, not the whole process. Gently encouraging your loved ones to seek professional help in addition to your support helps alleviate any pressure and allows you to care for them as best as you can.